i believe in forever i believe in always

when i invented the cure for loneliness
i asked my friends about their experiences
with loneliness i cannot wait to warm up
it all hurts so much and feels endlessly profound

i am filled with desperation to memorialise
the people close to me
they are god-like
quotes from friends

i believe in forever
i believe in always
dear everyone
let us connect now

sometimes defining friendship is way less important than being a friend
even though it is difficult
focusing on the ambiguity
could be a distraction

some of my earliest memories are of wanting to be famous
nothing is more sacred than these connections
i want to do everything i can
to ensure my friends live forever

the inevitability of more premature death
is impossible for me to reconcile with
more like when people say
hold your loved ones close

when i am required to remind myself
i look at Aida Azin’s paintings
being empty inside is my biggest fear other than being bored
recovery has felt way more weird than i could imagine

as a second family
let me know how you feel
          funny
          whimsical
          calmness
          honest about your feelings
like lover
like soulmate

if not i can hold it
          exchange of resources
          the sharing of spaces and tools
          the blurred boundaries between personal and collective experience
          especially within extended families
in the most isolated city on earth
we are talking about wonder and awe
i am in awe of your patience

chosen and deliberate
it does not stop
mementos from various locations starting
senses of home

a map of our friendship overlaid with patterns of movement
an interpersonal devotion
do not hug unless it is 15 seconds or greater in length
change each others chemicals forever

Greta Thunberg
post cards from South Korea
exchanged for postcards from the friendship surf club
the heart of Texas

being together
          sorry this content is no longer available
          wiped from digital memory
          nothing to remind us once stood
          we are left to pick up the immaterial pieces
          grieve apart from one
          another and eventually move on
being apart but i cannot help
thinking of everything i have been taught
write about what you want to come true

we were born twins
it reassures me
our esoteric dna
metalcore and natural blonde

parallel play at the library
what season of alone are we up to
pressing play at the same time
impromptu facetime

teaching singing and dance at the studio
beading charms
so much running in my head is what i grasp onto
in time to spend and share time with you

sleepover at Toormina
bus down Canning highway
deliberately walking through flagstaff gardens to Chloe’s hill
the sun was not out but the memory is bright

ur future is bright
i have felt very connected to myself
for a while
but i want to be more connected to everyone else

i do not think we need balance
we can aim for everything to be good and nothing be bad
thought i could solve all evil
think about meaningful relationships instead

discarded my limitations
to focus on ascension
do not have to understand
it is what it is

are you free for the friendship festival
i am holding hands with Dunbar’s number
of people at the same time at the friendship festival
and everyday always

an artist i admire put her hand out
and i hold it
i knew you would do that
overlapping webs keep connecting and expanding

i have not been vulnerable in a while
singing together is always a good idea
new online memorial
twitter reunion

when i say always i think of friendship as forever
just like Lily said we are still friends
a bit much to think about
i hold what i can of the essence

we are taught that memories are imperfect
over time they become memories of memories
i still want to paint the same picture over
and over again if that is all i can have

be a double
iconic duo
stand in for each other
new siblings

be each other
parts of self holding hands
social butterfly
utopia

friendship is the artwork to me
or maybe it is just that i would destroy it all for a friend
like in Fantasmas when they say
the job of the artist is to make people see things in a different way

a healing collaborative live art performance
it hit me like i can not find the metaphor
when Donna Williams wrote
there is love left in the world

after the winter solstice the days get longer
the sun feels different
i used to be the princess of sadness
gave it up for the princess portal

as soon as you talk to me we can be connected
in small streets all the houses are your friend’s houses
on a building that lasts forever
we have painted a wall of memories

everyone understands
what it is like to be you
and everyone cares
in all the houses there is a chair you made

our friend can still be there too
‍get the words out of me
if it means you are remembered we live forever
when is your next project i will put it in my calendar

every poem is a love poem
and everything we do is a love song
is it important to you
i can not think about anything else

volunteer as a personal assistant occasionally
i want this to feel like a circle
made while we are alive
group photo

i read my friends poetry books aloud in my bedroom
and make them mean
whatever my brain thinks they mean
can friendship be like a cave painting

and remember it all
friendship surf club forever
everyone let us reconnect now
meet you at the princess portal

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